


healing

by rosybumblebee



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, implied nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 20:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15154655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosybumblebee/pseuds/rosybumblebee
Summary: Shuu and Banjou build a new life together.





	healing

After the war, things are a little rough. Getting adjusted to a new life above the ground takes them quite a while. 

One of the first things Shuu does is to contact his father and some of his colleagues to collect more funds to sponsor the rebuilding of Tokyo. Then, he accepts the role of head of the family: something he struggles to do, at first, since his father is still healthy and would make a better leader than him; but he also knows Mirumo needs some well-deserved rest. Then, he becomes the main representative of the United Front, collaborating with CCG agents on the accords over the treatment of ghouls.

Then, he gets married. That takes him a little more time, though. 

\---

It starts with him choosing who’s going to work with him. He would ask those closest to him, but Kaneki is already busy with his family, Naki too, even more than Kaneki, given his nine children, and Nishiki is working with Kimi on developing new genetically modified meats. This means, his dear Banjoi becomes the vice representative of the United Front. They also choose to share an apartment together, because Shuu says it’ll be just like old times, and he looks so excited that Banjou doesn’t have the heart to tell him that technically, they didn’t live together while they worked in the 6th Ward.

It takes them a while before actually growing closer than before. The first couple of years are good: they fall into their new daily routines easier than expected, and they make a great team at work. Shuu is the one in charge of the United Front relations: anything to do with organizing things and talking to people is something he’s very good at. Banjou has some tasks too, of course; when Shuu can’t do something right away, he delegates it to him. But he’s usually the one who takes care of diplomatic stuff.

 Meanwhile, Banjou, while being very efficient, has more of a “caretaker” role regarding Shuu. As in, he checks on him every day, knowing his tendencies to neglect his physical and above all mental health. He has to make sure he’s eating properly, sleeping at least six hours per night (he would prefer eight, but he can only argue with Shuu to a certain point before he gets tired of his bratty attitude), and snap him out of his daydreams, most of which are about Kaneki. 

\---

Speaking of Kaneki, Shuu is pretty much over him by now, but it’s still a very sore spot for him. Whenever he goes to visit him and his family, he comes back home with a small smile on his face that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He truly is happy for him: but when he looks Kaneki’s daughter in her eyes, she reminds him that she’s half Kaneki, and half someone else. And that someone is not Shuu.

His relationship with Kaneki is a little strained, but when has it ever been easy? Kaneki doesn’t mind having Shuu around, but he also is always the second one to send him a text, never the first. Being close to Kaneki still brings painful memories to Shuu’s mind, and he maintains his distance, made up of polite smiles and small talk, but never something more than that.

Though that doesn’t keep him from stopping his work to think about him, if Kaneki had cared more about him, if things had gone differently, if he… then he hears Banjou clear his throat, or sees him throwing a pointed look in his direction, and he gets back to work.

\---

Banjou realizes he likes Shuu about two years after they start working together. He finds out he likes his rare, sincere smiles, the bickering, the teasing, he liked their relationship so much that people around them think they’re a couple before they actually get together. But he’s shy, insecure, and he knows someone like Shuu would never look at him in a romantic way, even if Shuu isn’t the stuck up, snobbish asshole he was years ago. He still has a soft spot for Kaneki, and though his feelings have faded, Banjou knows Kaneki will always be Shuu’s one and only, the love of his life.

On the other hand, Shuu convinces himself he doesn’t need a relationship. So what if everyone around him is getting their life together, finding a partner and having kids? He’s fine with having his job, the orchids on his desk he takes care of, and his cat Mochi, gifted to him by his dad when he turned twenty-eight. To him, a hopeless romantic, love should be thrilling, a whirlwind of passion and excitement so intense that it should leave you breathless and shocked, gasping for the air only your beloved can give you, and he keeps telling himself that he’s okay, and a steady, calm relationship just isn’t for him.

\---

Then he turns thirty, and has a mental breakdown. He realizes everyone is finding love and building a new, better life, while he’s stuck in the same cycle of Kaneki-dreaming and ignoring his deep-rooted issues. He is thirty, and he’s still alone, and at weddings, when his friends talk to him, they smile and ask him, “You’re next, right?”.

Banjou comes home only to find him sobbing desperately on the couch, his face buried in a pillow, and Mochi sitting on his back, gently kneading his shoulder with her soft paws. He frowns and walks over to him, sitting down and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder., rubbing circles into it with his thumb. He asks what’s going on, but Shuu doesn’t answer: he just sits up and buries his face in Banjou’s shoulder, crying harder and clinging to him like a lifeline. Banjou doesn’t mind though, and he hold him against his chest until he stops crying, stroking his hair and slowly rocking him side to side.

When he feels like he can breathe again, Shuu pulls back and hastily wipes his tears off his cheeks, trying to get away from Banjou. He despises having people see him cry: it makes him look vulnerable, and he has spent too many years building up a cocky, confident façade for it to crumble because of a moment of weakness. But Banjou settles his hands on his shoulders, keeping him firm in place, and turns Shuu’s head towards his with a hand on his jaw.

He asks him what’s wrong, what happened, but Shuu shakes his head, either because it’s nothing important, or because the lump in his throat is too thick and heavy, suffocating him and suppressing his words. He relents and lays his head on Banjou’s shoulder, his forehead pressed to his neck.

Finally, after a few minutes of comforting silence, he speaks in a soft voice. “…I’m watching my life slip through my fingers.” Banjou asks him for an explanation, something to work with, and Shuu lets go and tells him his worries, his fears, and how he knows, he just _knows_ he’s doomed to be alone forever. How does that saying go? Shuu remembers it from a movie… ah, yes: “ _always a bridesmaid, never a bride_ ”. He sniffles and curls up against Banjou’s chest, comforting and soft, welcoming, and he relaxes a little.

It’s halfway through another self-deprecating comment that he feels two warm hands take his cheeks in his hands and turn his head towards Banjou’s. The other shakes his head and says something along the lines of “Just shut up, you dumbass”, which Shuu doesn’t register because he’s too busy staring at the pair of lips inching closer and closer, until they are touching his.

He freezes in place, letting Banjou place his hands on his waist to pull him closer and deepen the kiss a little, before finally responding, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck and sinking into the kiss, his eyes fluttering shut.

Banjou’s lips travel down his jawline and neck, mapping his sides and back until Shuu is practically in his lap, but Shuu doesn’t mind; he relishes in it, the feeling of having someone pressed up so tightly against him, touching him so gently he thinks Banjou is afraid he’s going to break if he applies the slightest pressure. Shuu notices that it’s probably true: his heart is so fragile and barely healed, that the smallest, weakest blow could shatter it again.

This is why he pushes Banjou away, shaking his head and forcing himself to hold back his tears. They can’t do this, Shuu still isn’t well, he doesn’t want to fall only to find himself hitting the bottom face first when Banjou comes some time later, asking if he can organize his wedding with some other woman. He’s scared; being pulled out of the darkness was hard enough, and now it’s close, it’s so close, the thought of falling back into it terrifies Shuu.

But Banjou sighs and kisses his forehead, stroking his hair tenderly and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. He tells him that he doesn’t want to hurt him, he wants Shuu to live his life, and if he’s welcomed to be a part of it too… he won’t refuse.

Shuu stares back at him in disbelief, unblinking, before diving into a passionate kiss, touching and feeling every part of Banjou’s body he can reach, and whispering in his ear, “Take me to bed”. Banjou does just so, picking him up by the back of his thighs and carrying him to his bedroom, closing the door behind them.

\---

The first few weeks are a little awkward, but in a good way. They learn to explore each other’s interests, passions, their fears and loves, and Shuu gradually opens up to him. He smiles more and teases him more often, acting like a brat just to annoy Banjou, but also to receive the kind of attention he wants, and more often than not, also to play a little in the bedroom.

It isn’t easy: there are fights too, because Banjou is too protective and worried and Shuu needs to breathe, or because Shuu says yes every time Kaneki asks him to babysit his daughter at night, even if he has worked all day and he hasn’t slept in two days. But those fights always end in long talks, apologies and kisses, and those kisses always end in naked cuddles in bed, watching shitty but funny reality shows.

\---

The proposal comes as a surprise two years later. They’re sitting on a bench in a park at night, drinking hot coffee, with Shuu’s head on Banjou’s shoulder. Banjou asks him if Shuu sees a future for them, something serious, and without hesitation, Shuu answers yes. Then Banjou pulls out a little box and shows him the ring, asking him to marry him. Again, without hesitation, Shuu answers yes.

The ceremony is simple but incredibly romantic. There are their closest friends, some agents from the former CCG, and a billion flowers. Mirumo and Nishiki cry during their vows, and Shuu and Banjou cry later, during their first dance as husbands. In the apartment, Banjou’s room becomes a studio and he moves into Shuu’s, and they go buy a pretty king-sized bed at IKEA. Shuu wanted a fancier store, but it’s fun, wandering around the hallways full of furniture and mispronouncing the Swedish names, laughing while they look at bathroom towels.

\---

They adopt a ghoul baby girl a year later, when she’s just one month old. The studio becomes her room, with pink and white walls, and shelves full of stuffed animals. They kiss her chubby cheeks before putting her to sleep, and every night Shuu has to remind Banjou to turn on the baby monitor, in case she starts crying at night. Which she does, and most of the times it’s Banjou who gets up, reassuring Shuu that everything’s fine and kissing his forehead, before walking to the other room. And every time, Shuu burrows his face back in the pillow and smiles softly to himself, knowing everything’s really fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M BAAAACK i finally graduated so i have nothing to do all day and i can write more!!! thank you for reading!!! also, pretty much all of the fic, including literal sentences and pieces, has been inspired by ofgourmet's posts and headcanons on tumblr, so go check them out bc every day they feed me god tier content
> 
> again, thank you for reading, and kudos and comments are always appreciated!! <3
> 
> tumblrs: rosybumblebee (personal) gourmetbooty (fandom)


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